Based on the rubric, I think I deserve either a 6 or 7. I
would say probably a 7, at the risk of sounding too self-assured. According to
the rubric for a score of 6 or 7, “These essays offer a reasonable analysis of
a single pivotal moment in the psychological or moral development of the
protagonist in a bildungsroman and how that single moment shapes the meaning of
the work as a whole. These essays analyze how the pivotal moment shapes the
entire work. While these essays show insight and understanding, their analysis
is less thorough, less perceptive, and/or less specific in supporting detail
than that of the 9–8 essays.” I think that I did exactly that through my
analysis of the fighting scene between Assef and Amir. I was able to relate it
back to Amir’s past and the overall meaning of the work. I just didn’t do it in
as much detail as I should have, and I probably could have used more textual
support. Actually, I definitely could have used more textual support but I feel
that what I did use was used appropriately and was sufficient enough to score
me a 7.
2. Read the student performance "Common errors"
section. What common errors did you commit? If you were going to do this prompt
over again, how would you correct these errors?
The first error that I committed was that I did a lot of
plot summary in my essay. Even though my analysis was sufficient and I got my
point across, I feel like I just summarized several parts. Also, while I did
pick a moment that was a pivotal moment, it was also a turning point for the
story which I guess is what made it easier to write about. If I was going to
redo this, I would work on explaining more than summarizing and on focusing in
on a more relevant situation that would allow me to talk about how it relates to
the character’s journey into adulthood and how it changed them in relation to
the meaning of the story. I did this, loosely, but I feel that I could do
better.
3. After reading the student response examples what have you
learned? Is there anything specifically you would change in your own paper?
I’ve learned that essays that are scored 8 and 9 are much
better than mine. That was a joke. Anyway, I learned that essays that are
scored an 8 or 9 are very descriptive and very focused on the prompt and
getting their point across. The vocabulary and diction/sentence structure are
elevated and sophisticated. Essays that are marked at a 6 or 7 do a sufficient
analysis, but lesser than the ones scored higher, much like my essay. Anything
below that doesn’t really do much analyzing but rather summarize plot. I could
honestly work on using upper level vocabulary and work on varying my sentence
structure and focusing more on the prompt when I write.
4. What aspect of timed writings do you feel you need the
most help on? What do you suggest we do in class to help with this?
I don’t know about needing help on anything, but I know that
textual support has always been my weakest area. I never have much of it and
sometimes what I pick as textual support isn’t relevant, really. Maybe there
are some exercises or something we could do about that. I also sometimes have
trouble understanding what the prompt wants so it takes me longer to get
started. Maybe we could have some practice exams or something to help with
this.
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